2013

still in China on the first day of 2013. did not seek a crowded place for countdown, but stayed at home to watch one on TV. yet i still ended up falling asleep before the clock strikes that fateful hour.

super tired in the past year, with my job and my relationship status. but all along i guess i lack an inner force to push me to change.

hopefully in the year ahead, things will change for the better.

happy 2013 people!! cheer up and let's all be more optimistic, for at least no apocalypse killed us! =)

p.s I know this optimism will only last till before tomorrow's start of work, but oh well, maybe a sliver will stay on in my heart

秋天到了。。。

这个选择是我决定的，虽然辛苦，但毕竟说出了口，只能尽最大的能力办到。
相信现在的难受只是暂时的，一切都会有天成为过眼云烟。
那天到来时，我就能回忆而不觉得心酸。
坚信这是一段值得珍惜的成长心路历程。

努力微笑，明天会更好。我会更好。

你好吗？

It's been so long since I wrote a blog entry. and now I feel so old.

March 29 - April 29
May 29 - July 19
July 30 - September 11
I spent almost half a year in Wuxi, China this year.

Work wise, I really learnt a lot. Having to deal with production operators, affiliate business managers, customers, colleagues and superiors on stuff like safety, equipment use/maintenance, pay, logistics, sales, and other issues really ain't an easy feat. Especially in Mandarin. Of all these, the biggest headache is the China Customs. Unbelievably lots of procedures and hidden out-of-the-blue surprises.

People wise, I realised I am quite good at communication, between different departments, different levels. They work alongside one another for years, and yet they don't talk but come to me to solve their problems. But I am glad to be able to slowly make these people I work with more than just colleagues.

Life wise, I am well taken care of by the company. I have a rented apartment, a driver to and from office, and a cleaner to tidy the flat. The rest of the time I get around by taxi, going for massages, shampoo treatments, and shopping. It feels increasingly like a home now.

But Singapore is still where my heart feels at home. I still keep up-to-date with the girls through Whatsapp, still kpo on Facebook despite the great Chinese firewall, and I still Skype call my family regularly. I worry that the people back home aren't safe and well, that they are unable to reach me when they need me because of the distance, that they have things they aren't telling me for fear I get anxious.

This time round, I'm going back Singapore to celebrate my 26th birthday. I expect to be home for about 2-3 weeks, because I feel a responsibility to be the bridge to straighten things out at home. I also want to be able to meet more people and spend more time with each person.

But there will be someone holding on to the strings of my heart in China, this guy who makes me smile, who treats me like a little girl when he is obviously the young one who needs taking care of, who creeps around when I am in a temper. He is the one guy I didn't expect to fall for, but I did, quickly and furiously.

Sigh, trying to make things work over long distances will not be easy, no matter which aspect.

tired old soul

今年是注定要做浪女的。短短一个月的停留后，下周又要飞了。
头脑被工事搞得一团乱，心也好多牵挂的事。
但顾得着一边，就顾不了另外一边。

不知怎地，心空空的，感觉没有力。 想找个靠岸歇息，不在奔波。

太多drama 不想听。

bravo

ended yet another one, making this number 4.

the extent of your friendship is actually writing a ridiculously long comment on my friend's Facebook post extolling your virtues and hinting at me being a player in the game of love.

win. i would love to reply and start a long drawn out cyber war, but I'm above and beyond that.

so let's just not be friends. you have made it clear you think i treated you for a fool, and i shall be clear i do not appreciate your actions post-breakup.

maybe NOW i will start playing, big time playing.

Wuxi, China day 14

burning midnight oil even when overseas. realised the people here are actually quite nice, finding it amusing to be using so much Mandarin everyday.
but i still hope to clear the irritating audit round one tomorrow. so that i can be one step closer to finishing this task and getting home soon, hopefully by the Labour day long holidays.

some things I only see when I'm some distance away. some things you only realise you've lost it after it's not there anymore.

we will be stronger, and grow to be more mature. what doesn't kill us will make us stronger, albeit years later.

even after lowering my expectations of the hygiene standard, door-less toilets are still a shock.

how come...

how come we used to be able to meet up and talk freely, but somehow it has changed?

it makes me sad.

a lot of free time in China, I shall use it as rest.